Greetings Arjun's readers! I come in peace.
My name is Sridevi and I will be guest posting here today. Arjun and I have been friends for a long time now. But that's not what I am here to talk about today.
Wait a minute, what was I planning to talk about today?!!
Sorry friends, you see, since last couple of weeks, I have been working on a paper on Sanitation, so that all that comes to my mind when I try to think up a decent blog posts is toilets, water supply and proper waste disposal.
Anyway, to distract you from the beautiful images and thoughts that I just inserted in your head, I will talk about Brad Pitt for a brief moment.
(If you have already read my blog, then you have been clearly forewarned that I usually lead you into believing that my post is about others and finally it ends up being about me, because it is fun to be self-centered)
I assume that all of you have seen that particular episode in Friends where Brad Pitt makes a guest appearance. Therefore, I also assume you found it especially entertaining that his character in that episode hated Rachel (played by his then wife - Jennifer Aniston), to the extent of taking revenge by starting an I-hate-Rachel Club that spread rumors about her.
Well, neither am I a female Brad Pitt, nor is the object of my wrath even remotely like Jennifer Aniston, but I too dislike (to the point of hate) a woman and have already proceeded with my path of revenge!
(witch-like cackles in the background)
So until last month, I used to take a daily bus pass of Rs. 30/- on my way to work, which lets me board how many ever buses I want for that particular day. It is a convenient system for those who cover long distances daily.
Cast: Me, Evil Woman who sells daily passes, Random people nearby
Me (thrusting 3 bunched up 10 rupee notes into her hand): "One pass"
(Me slightly distracted by the disgusting kid trying to wipe his snot on the person near him, meanwhile sees out of the corner of the eye that Evil Woman dropped a note deftly into her shoulder money bag)
(Me also slightly impressed at her precision of throwing the money correctly into her bag, without letting it flutter down to the ground)
Evil Woman: "You have given me only 20 rupees, the pass costs 30"
Me (completely shocked): "But you just threw a note into your bag"
Evil Woman (obviously well experienced in handling these situations): "What? Why would I do that?"
Me (in my head): "Because you can keep the extra money, Evil Woman"
Me (stupidly slow and stubborn): "But I saw you do it"
Evil Woman (opens her bag to reveal a pile of 10 rupee notes and hastily shuts it before I could look clearly): "See, I didn't throw your money in the bag!"
Me (clearly not Sherlock Holmes): "But.....but...."
Evil Woman (loudly to other people nearby who couldn't care less as to what she is saying): "She lost her money on the way, and is saying I took it" (fake laugh) "why would I put the money in my bag?"
(Onlookers totally not reacting)
(Me fuming, angry with myself for not being the usually clever person that I am)
But the story isn't over yet Evil Woman!
Because now (April 2009), whenever I board your bus, I will give you the cold stare, which you might not understand (remember) why, but will make you lose your sleep at nights.
Now, whenever I board your bus, I will haughtily ignore your requests to buy tickets.
Now, whenever I board your bus, you will no longer be able to cheat me out of 10 rupees.
Because now, I have the power of the monthly pass, that will let me travel in any bus I want for the whole month.
Now I shall no longer carry any money with me, to "lose" it.
And now, there shall be JUSTICE.
(Immature you say? Well, if Brad Pitt can do it, then so can I)
PS: I know I should give her the benefit of doubt, but what are the odds that the moment I happened to IMAGINE that she dropped the note into her bag, she tells me that I have not given her the correct amount??!