Gopi Manjuri with doublextra cheese

Here’s a dumb question to start with:

If a man can dress Indian, eat Indian (strictly), has Indian ancestors and an Indian wife, received his primary.edu in India and drives a Maruti on the streets of Bengaluru, he should speak English with an Indian accent.

The above statement is:

1. True

2. False

3. The data provided is insufficient.

The Texas Tragedy

Electronics major Texas Instruments has its headquarters in Dallas, Texas. They have a setup at Bangalore too. A big percentage of the employees working at TI, Bangalore have been to Dallas at some point of time during their career at TI.

Result: They speak with an American accent.

A case: Varadharajan, who’s joined TI last month finds it difficult to follow what his team leader Gopal Swamy Iyer says, because of the latter’s American accent.

A brief history: Gopal Swamy Iyer, on finishing his PUC at Revannasiddhiya Pre-University College went on to do his BE in ECE from the RV College of Engineering on Mysore Road, Bengaluru. After a brief stint with an IT firm, he went to the University of Michigan to pursue a Master of Science in pure electronics. After 3 years at TI, Dallas, Gopal Swamy Iyer was sent back to his native land of India.

//Gopal Iyer has done away with the dispenser in the toilet at his house on KR Road. One can find a roll of tissue instead.

Pseudonyms and Uncles from Scotland

So where does one need to go to get an American accent?

The naive would think the obvious, that Texan accents are picked up in Texas, or a Canadian accent in Toronto or Quebec. But as we are propelled into the Internet age, one can pick up a mid-western American accent sitting in Boreville, Mumbai. Yes, the world is shrinking!

Which brings us to next question- How long does it take to pick up one?

Let’s probe a little further to dig out the answer for this one. A friend’s Uncle lives in Scotland, a land where its natives are known for their distinctive English accent. He migrated to Scotland from India in the early 1970’s when the Beatles were getting big. 35 years hence, every time his family comes on their annual vacation to India, it is said that this man speaks just like any other Indian.

Rajiv (name changed) is an Investment Banker. He works with the Hong Kong and Shanghai Bank. Last summer he was sent to Singapore for 4 months on an assignment. Sources close to him say that he came back with an American accent (Wtf?)

Verdict: In the 21^st century, one can talk like an American within a few days without as much as having to make trip to the airport.

The New Species

There is no substantial evidence for the need to put on an accent. While victims in the glass and steel buildings might claim that their interaction with global customers requires them to speak like a New Yorker, there is only one thing that can be said- show me a man who cannot follow the Indian accent but can follow the American one, and I’ll free him from paying taxes for the rest of his life.

If the problem can be spelt out clean, so should the solution to tackle it. This is not to help you put a new accent or rid you from the existing one, but more to help you identify yourself and act as personal discretion may permit:

1. The Localised specie: You are the kind that refuses to shed your regional accent. You go to Canberra and speak English like a Keralite. The plus point would be that it would popularise a local accent in the world market. Trouble: People are laughing behind your ass. There is high risk involved here, but not fatal. Egzamble: Lolla Kutty.

2. The Globalised specie You go around the world speaking English like an Indian. But in doing so, pay attention that it is can be understood by the listener. Take care to weed out the mother-tongue accent. Example: LN Mittal.

3. The Super-Globalised specie: Where ever you go, you speak with the accent prevailing in that area. Or in other words, when in Rome, be a Roman. This is extremely challenging, but is possible to achieve. Example: A friend’s 3^rd cousin.

4. The Run down specie: No matter where life takes you, always speak like a Yank. Example: Gopal Swamy Iyer.

If you happen to figure out more forms of species that can co-exist with the above, feel free to mail it to me. I’d be more than glad to append the existing list.

Adios.

P.S: ‘Gopi Manjuri’ is Tamil-English for the Indo-Chinese dish Gobi Manchurian.