Learning to say 'Venakatarama Govinda'

It’s times like these that are really frustrating. If there’s one leveler of society that turns a blind eye to your bank account, it has to be traffic jams. Last Sunday India’s biggest Mall (at least that’s what the developers claim in their ads), Mantri Square opened on Sampige Road. If you’re a Bangalorean, a landmark would be that it’s opposite to the famous New Krishna Bhavan hotel. The opening of this mall comes just weeks after Big Bazar opened its doors at 5th cross Malleswaram, roughly one kilometer from this mall.

Here’s a primer on Malleswaram: now if you didn’t know, Malleswaram has classically been the traditional, and laid back part of the city. In the true sense, it is old Bangalore, though no one ever refers to it that way. The extent of shopping crowds is usually restricted to the 8th cross market on weekends and on festivals. The place is abound with some of the best eateries in the city. But that was about the extent of attraction of this part of the city. Sampige Road and Margosa road, which are the lifelines of Malleswaram are lined with trees on either sides starting from the 1st cross going all the way till 18. These two roads are relatively narrow and are capable of handling limited traffic. The area is predominantly a residential one, and connects South Bangalore and Majestic to Rajajinagar on one side and Yeshwantpur and Peenya on the other.

We saw what effect the opening of Mantri Square has had on the area only last evening. Now, traffic jams aren’t new to the city, but last evening’s display was scandalizing. It was Saturday evening, and Bangalore decided to check out the latest mall in town. At the same time, families decided to do the week’s household shopping at Big Bazar. And like I mentioned above, both these businesses are located on roads with poor infrastructure. Net result: they infused so much traffic that there was a traffic clog for close to three kilometers, and tempers were flying all over the place. This is the same road that leads to the City Railway station, and I wouldn’t be too surprised if many people missed their trains.

Mantri Square in itself is a huge place and has way too many stores. The nice part is they’ve got the first Taco Bell in India, but what shite; it’s always crowded and you need to stand in line for way too much time to get your tacos. So first, you get caught up in traffic to reach the place, and then you get caught up in queues to get your food. It’s times like these that you feel like ditching the Great Indian Growth Story and moving to Spain. This place also has the multiplex chain Inox with dozens of screens. Multiplexes are the crowd pullers in malls. And all the traffic we witnessed last night was sans the movie going crowd because Inox is yet to open. What then can you expect when the movie screens start functioning? In the words of Anoop Krishnamurthy, all we can say is “Venakatarama Govinda Gooooooooovinda!” (Take the Lord’s name and pray for the best).

This situation is not going away anytime soon; at least that’s what a common man would diagnose. The Bruhat Bangalore Mahangara Palike (BBMP) has options to solve this problem. They need to get the Metro Rail built at the blink of an eye, but we know that statement in itself is a joke. Or the Bangalore City Police has to come up with something incredibly innovative to streamline traffic flow. But I don’t think I’ll put my money on that one. Or the authorities can do what they’re best at: chop down all the trees that have lined these roads for several decades now and widen the roads. Now that, to me sounds like a solution that can be executed really fast. What’s the big deal? It’s just a couple of trees.

Note: If you need to take the route towards Malleswaram, plan it such that you don’t find yourself there between 6 pm and 9:30 pm. Unless you love stress and enjoy pulling your hair out.