There’s no denying that love is in the air. Matchmakers are in business. Families are buzzing with excitement this season with someone in it readying to tie the nuptial knot. What is that one thing that, maybe besides organizing logistics for the wedding (and finding a partner) that takes up maximum time? I believe it’s got to be the invitations. House after house: your first cousin’s wife’s third sister’s Labrador will be pissed if he’s not invited in person.
I think I’ve got some news. The times are changing. An average Indian Wedding would have around 500 to 600 guests. But an average wedding in the west would have only a few dozen people. Doesn’t the difference seem striking? May be the roots go back to our ‘joint family’ system, where an average family consisted at least 10 members. So, assuming that the guy’s family and the girl’s family each had 10 people, that makes it 20 in the first circle. These two families had 5 other extended families with an average of 10 in each. That means, about 100 in the second circle. Let us say that each person in the initial 20 knew 20 others (friends, acquaintances etc.) That makes it a straight 400. Btw, these numbers are rather conservative in south India. So, 600 people at a wedding is really no big deal.
You may be going, “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?” I’ll tell you what the frequency is.In twenty years time (at max), Indian weddings will have only a few dozen guests just like their Western counterparts. I got an e-mail invite this morning from a distant friend. Now, I know what that means: I am on her guest list; but I am not worth the pain and trouble of a phone call or a personal invite because we don’t know each other well enough. And so, I won’t show up at the wedding because I know she really doesn’t want me there. Extend this to the hundreds of people that have received her e-mail invite. I’d be shocked if anyone turns up.
In this way, we keep playing this game of invites through e-mails, blogs and worse still, orkut and facebook posts. Slowly, down the line, the numbers at Indian weddings will keep reducing. My generation is far less attached to its second circle of family than my mother’s generation anyways. I have first cousins whose name I don’t know. Extrapolate this over 10, 15 and 20 years. I think my assumption is safe. Weddings will cost far lesser; and we’ll manage to keep the noise out.
4 comments:
Lets spread the noise and keep the noise out :)
Last time I attended a marriage was I don't know when :)
I was planning on inviting you for cousin's wedding in april. Shall I email it? :D
Dont worry Sampat kumar,
I will invite you, no matter how much ever you extrapolate the assumption :)
I realize this post is old, but I read it through the link on the newer post, and thought I should say a few words on it.
I think you are being a little harsh towards email. Email has its purposes, and granted, invitation for a marriage is not. However, given the times I think email and heck, facebook and Orkut even are not bad avenues, as long as they are used for personalizing things.
In other words, let's take my marriage. There are my class mates I would definitely like to invite, even you included. But...
One, the question of visiting you in person is ruled out. Two, I stopped being "classmates" with my classmates before everyone had their own cell phones. I have no idea what each one's numbers are, let alone addresses. And in fact, most people's email too I do not have.
What do I do? Mass spam everyone on Facebook, or take the time to message everyone on Facebook asking their number, and then call each one.
And I am not convinced of your "we’ll manage to keep the noise out." I think nobody who takes an interest to come to your marriage should be considered noise.
Hari
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